The hardest day of my life.

Today I went with a local church on their weekly outreach program, Thursdays For Others, to the Tondo Dump/ Smokey Mountain area. I hardly think it is possible for an American to fully realize, without going yourself, what it means for these thousands of people to live their lives in and around a huge dump, where they sift through mounds of garbage to find the relatively valuable wire, or recyclable bits to sell. I have seen quite a lot of difficult things since I have been here, but this was nearly too much for me.

This shot is out the window, driving into the dump. Sorry about the poor photos! I just took what snapshots I could, when I had a spare hand... Notice the little boy on the right has bare feet, wading through all that muck. I didn't catch the moment, but all three turned around and flashed us a cheery grin. 

 These three attached themselves to me from the start-- the girl in the adult sized green jersey is Edja, and the other two wouldn't say their names... not that they were sullen and taciturn, just sometimes kids are like that!:P
I loved making the little boy laugh, holding him upside down and tickling him... he had a cough, so no one else wanted to hold him. I am drinking echinacea tea by the bucket, juuuuust in case.

In the middle of the dump, someone had built a small but sturdy one room schoolhouse, where we packed about eighty kids and fifteen volunteers for story and craft time. These kids live in the middle of squalor, and have nearly no chance of a better future, yet most of them had radiant smiles, and listened very attentively and politely-- better than any American classroom!

I didn't want to be the rookie who cried.
I have seen poverty before.
But when we started singing Jesus Loves Me, I could barely whisper the words.
I know that my precious Abba really does love them dearly, but the ins and outs of theodicy seemed lost to me at the moment.
I have wrestled with the problem of evil in the world, and put it to rest for the most part, but this?

When these kids-- who have little to absolutely zero value to the world sang "they are precious in His sight," my pasted on smile started to slip.

Overcome by emotions I couldn't even classify, I slipped out to the cars, so the kids couldn't see me, and sobbed, hands over my face.

As helpless as I felt, however, crying wouldn't solve anything here. I sobbed for about a minute, incoherently crying out to God, then wiped the mascara from under my eyes, and went back in, with a stronger smile that I could hold onto the rest of the morning.
 I believe that God wants us to take all of our thoughts and feelings to Him, not just the good. Read some of the cries of anguish in Psalms-- "God, where are You?" is really not so heretical as it sounds, and this doubt and struggle even seems to be a semi-normal process that believers go through.

 We did a craft, and I held about a dozen kids on my lap, while someone told a story in Tagalog and led some songs.

 One of the junk shops that sells the bits that people find in the dump.

I found myself thinking that more than anything I want to help people like this. But honestly, I don't know if I am that brave. I think more than anything else, I want to go somewhere worlds away from poverty, and hunger, and filth, and pretend that none of this exists. 

In line for snacks:)

 What do you do after an experience like that? Of course, you come home, take a hot shower, and change your clothes, but what about the kids who never get to go home and wash the dump smell away? That is their life, and that is where they live. How do you make a difference in the face of such facts? I won't pretend I have all the answers-- I am confused and hurting right now, but I do know Who does have all the answers, and I know He sees, and I know He cares.

After we said goodbye to the kids, our driver took us around to see a little more of the general area-- that mountain is made entirely of trash.
Ten years ago, over a hundred people were killed in a landslide of garbage there.

I can't believe that this is only about thirty minutes from my apartment!


When these kids saw us snapping photos, they hammed it up for the camera! Somehow they find the courage to laugh and smile. Next time you have a bad day, think about them!

Our spontaneous weekend in Batangas, and some recent finds!

As always, email me at karamartha@gmail.com to reserve anything you wish to buy! All prices are plus shipping, or if you live close to my Texas home, I am sure we could arrange an in-person swap:)

This weekend we decided to drive down to Batangas on the spur of the moment, just because-- we live in a tropical country, and we resolved to take advantage of that glorious fact!

My Filipina sister, Rianne and I got into the free-spirited, beachy mood right away, and waved to all the cars and trikes we passed!:P 

 No road trip is complete without a stop at a fruit stand, in my opinion!

And apparently, this trip would not have been complete without cutting some sugar cane-- very tasty, but ridiculously fibrous! I learned to just chew it for the sweet juice, and spit out the rest.

 After driving un peu plus we made another stop at a tiny coconut orchard. The water inside a young coconut is a delicious drink! While we watched one nimble harvester scurry up the tree, cut and lower an enormous (and very heavy looking!) bunch of coconuts for us, this carabao cart lumbered by, sans slow moving vehicle sign, oblivious to the rest of the traffic!

 Very tall, you see...

 Our destined bunch of coconuts, just waiting to be cracked open for their refreshing juice.

 It is harder than you might imagine to drink a coco without a straw, but Dad attempts the feat anyway! (In case you wonder, he managed it rather well;)

 Finally, the beach!

 Rianne and I managed to not kill each other on the jetski, yay for us!

 I could never be in a place for too long without shopping! But hey, talk about authentic! I bought these gorgeous jewelry sets right on the beach, from the guy who probably made them, and stimulated the local economy...

 See, are these not gorgeous? I could not resist handmade coral, aquamarine, cobalt and jade jewelry, practically pieces of the sky and sea of the beach I visited!

Email me at karamartha@gmail.com if you have any questions!

 My precious Philippines are world renowned for their jade, and I love the wide variety of shades this stone can be.

All the other necklaces are 18 inches, and come with a bracelet and earrings; but this lovely deep green (kind of a translucent forest green color) necklace is 25 inches, and comes solo. Sorry about the lack of uniformity, but I did not buy these from a store-- I bought them right on the beach and they are handmade!

I am asking $12 for this necklace, and $18 for the whole sets, plus minimal shipping if I don't live near you:) (my Texas home, I mean, because I would send them from there.)

Drumroll please! My entire family raves about this raw, unfiltered, completely incredible honey, even down to my 5 year old cousin, who constantly asks for 'Palawan honey, not honey from Texas.' It really is that yummy!
Palawan is the region of the Philippines considered to be the most unspoiled and perhaps the richest in natural resources.

Not only yummy, but "Nature's Secret to Longer Living!" I have always been a proponent for quality honey as a sweetener, but I researched more about the health benefits, and the HUGE list of problems honey has been used to treat since before the times of the Pharaohs shocked me: reduces muscle fatigue, helps with morning sickness, relief from bladder infections, arthritis, upset stomach and bad breath, and can even slow hair loss! See: http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/health-benefits-of-organic-locally-grown-raw-honey/

For those of you who like to read the whole label, here you go! Aside from the fact that this honey is brimming with health benefits, it also tastes better than the honey I buy stateside, and it has a less viscous consistency, so it is MUCH easier to dissolve in either hot or cold drinks, stir into yoghurt, add to a cake batter, or just take a spoonful for a natural energy boost!

These glass bottles each contain 750 ml, or about 25 oz. and I am asking $15, which I feel is rather competitive with local prices for unheated, unfiltered, artisan honey.
Email me at karamartha@gmail.com if you are interested!

And one photo of my Dad and my new nephew just because he is such a cutie!